A few months ago I decided to take a social media break for over one week. What had sparked this idea was a page from my Stoic book from January 8th and the message I took from it- we think we’re in control but are we really?
“We must give up many things to which we are addicted, considering them to be good. Otherwise, courage will vanish, which should continually test itself. Greatness of soul will be lost, which can’t stand out unless it disdains as petty what the mob regards as most desirable. – Seneca, Moral Letters, 74.12b–13”
“What we consider to be harmless indulgences can easily become full-blown addictions. We start with coffee in the mornings, and soon enough we can’t start the day without it. We check our email because it’s part of our job, and soon enough we feel the phantom buzz of the phone in our pocket every few seconds. Soon enough, these harmless habits are running our lives.
The little compulsions and drives we have not only chip away at our freedom and sovereignty, they cloud our clarity. We think we’re in control–but are we really? As one addict put it, addiction is when we’ve “lost the freedom to abstain.” Let us reclaim that freedom.
What that addiction is for you can vary: Soda? Drugs? Complaining? Gossip? The Internet? Biting your nails? But you must reclaim the ability to abstain because within it is your clarity and self-control. – Ryan Holiday”
I remember reading this page and it really hitting home for me. & I knew immediately that I needed to take control over my social media usage. Instagram specifically, was and arguably still is, what I’d consider my addiction. I noticed myself getting caught up aimlessly scrolling when I should have been utilizing my time productively. For example, I’d sit on the couch with my laptop ready to write a blog post & would check my phone before I started. That checking my phone turned into me scrolling for over an hour, and then I’d lose all motivation to write a blog post, so I wouldn’t. I got too wrapped up & put too much energy into what I was seeing on social media that I felt like any blog post I would write would be worthless. This happened over and over again. It was like my excuse to get out of doing what I really needed and wanted to complete.
It took a couple weeks to muster up the courage to completely delete my social media apps but I eventually did it. I was curious to see what it would be like to not to turn to my phone when I felt like being distracted. I had a fear of missing out on something, which showed me that I’m more dependent on the platform than I even realized.
After I got over the fear of missing out, which lasted around 3 days, it felt great to not even have the option to open up a social media app. The only way I can describe it as is freeing. I’d catch myself about to open an app and then remember there were no apps to open and being like “ahh, yes, that’s right.” It made me more present, it took any sort of pressure off of me because I’d go about my day and not even consider having to post about it in my stories.
I got to the point where I didn’t even want to get back on Instagram or any of the social media apps, I was feeling so secure with myself because I was putting all of my energy towards me and not comparing my life to everyone on Instagram. And I even went longer than a week without my apps, I almost had hit the two week mark because I wasn’t ready to download them back to my phone. Ironic, isn’t it?
Once the apps were downloaded again, I made a conscious effort to be aware of how much time I would spend scrolling. Also, I knew I needed to not begin my days scrolling the gram, so I make another conscious decision every single morning to not pick up my phone because this all helps me keep my scrolling in check. & if I notice I just sat on social media for a little too long, then I tell myself that that’s the limit for the day.
Another thing I stopped doing was scrolling until I’d get to where I left off. I used to scroll until it notified me that this is where I left off when I last checked Instagram. Yeah, no thanks. I’ll pass on that.
It’s important to do a self-check on yourself- where in your life do you think you have “harmless indulgences?” Really sit with yourself on this and see where you can reclaim your freedom. Thank you for following along & reading!
+ Read up on the intentions I set for May here.
xx, Aubrianna